Lets try and finish this off before I get a full continent in arrears. It's not gonna be the greatest piece of literature ever. But I leave New Zealand this afternoon, so it'd be good just to have the whole of Oceania to write about when I get to South America.
So, South East Asia. Here's the classic route most people take; Laos, Cambodia, Vietnam, Thailand, and straight down to Singapore. Malaysia, for some reason is usually skipped. With 2 weeks in my pocket and an internal raging to see why a whole country is seemingly so undesirable, I entered this fine place in a plushly decked out Bedford Rascal.
It's a fabulous vehicle - I've always been a fan. And thankfully, as you enter Malaysia, its somewhat reminiscent of those 2 ridiculous straights at the Sepang GP circuit - that's the track with the oversized, upside down cocktail umbrella's at either end (see trophy from Pewter museum in KL). My love of bikes has left me with a seething dislike of straight roads - a true crime against nature. Those people not au fait with bikes think we just lurve going fast in a straight line - nothing could be further from the truth - it's the twisties that get the juices flowing. The Rascal though always looks like it's gonna roll if you turn the wheen more than half a degree, so perhaps these were for the best.
Penang
Ok - I should have learned last year that the best thing to do with a wet digital camera is to stop being a scenery whore, put the camera away and let it dry for a day. It should be obvious from the previous sentence that this wasn't a lesson learned then, and sadly my beloved Ixus 50 is no more. Fortunately, savvy consumer and consumate negotiator that I am, I'm now the proud owner of an Ixus 60 (same batteries etc) which I bargained down to a decent price in a store here.
Malaysia's favourite Island playground is reached from a *massive* bridge from the mainland. Quite an impressive feat of architecture, and having spent the last 10 years in Bristol, my palate has been refined considerably to appreciate such things. You gotta love Isambard Kingdom Brunel. You can see the bridge - look, the last shot on the Ixus 50 :-(
But despite such a succulent view, Georgetown, the main town in Penang is a bit of a hole in all honesty. But it does provide the tone for the rest of your trip to here. There's three main communities throughout Malaysia, and all are thoroughly well represented here. Malays, Chinese and Indians.
And what it amounts too, as far as I can see is a lot of discontentment on some parts, because the feelings are that certain parts of society are favoured, and everyone's stuck in their roles. At least that's what people seem to think. Me, I thought all the people here were really nice and pleasant, from who I met anyway - people have just got to open their minds a bit and stop thinking things that don't exist.
So what does this mean for the foreign food consumer. Well, I reckon these three have a little competition going on to see who can step up to the plate the highest. And what happens when this happens? The fat tourist wins!
Consume shellfish, curry's, vege meals, hawker food, pastel de naja's (for their appears to be a little bit of portugese stuck here too) god - it's bloody good here.
Penang's also damn good for splashing out on slightly more upmarket accomodation, as you don't really need to splash out. On my 2nd day here, I met a dutch girl, Marpessa, who was also feeling that our slightly shitty hostel could be easily be disposed of in favous of more regal surroundings for an evening - and so we did. I love the dutch. And plush the room was. So she's an intriguing girl, and good company, so after spending a few days here we headed off to the....
Cameron Highlands
Who'd have thought that a Tea plantation would be a thing of rare beauty? Not me.
If Penang is the beach bums hangout, then Cameron Highlands is the location of choice for the slightly more discerning Malay.
And then I saw this massive millipede whilst going for a walk. Later in my travels, I'd discover the truth about this millipede; it's highly poisonous. I watched a brilliantly enthusiastic 14 year old guide get berated by his arsehole boss in the Australian Venom Zoo. The millipede had secreted his poison on the kid, and he (rightly) rushed off to wash his hands. On returning, his boss threatens to fire him for deserting the customers. What a dick.
I met an interesting man whilst here - an aussie OAP lush who, on arising at 3pm declared to me that "the good thing about drinking was waking up, feeling shit and the day just improving from then on". Wise, wise words.
Taman Negara
Unfortunately, what with a tropical downpour at all, my planned arrival into the 'Worlds oldest rainforest' (© Malaysia tourist industries) - Guns'N'Roses blaring, arriving by chopper sharing dirty jokes with a bundle of lads was called off. Perhaps I've watched Predator too many times. Nah - how can that be possible? - it's got to be #5 on the list of Schwarzennegger's best work, which means it's in the top 10 films ever made. Arriving solo by bus wasn't quite the same as laughing about big pussys in helicopters. Still never mind.
Well, having disposed of my hiking boots for being too small, I was in need of an alternative. Those crazy Malays know exactly what's necessary. A pair of fabulous canvas boots, cost to hire about 2 pence. And they looked hot. And after doing so, whilst wandering around the jungle wondering whether the growl was my stomach or a tiger (if only - eaten by tiger/shark/barbed by stingray related death has to be the way I want to go. Sounds a lot better than "He died in his sleep"), I met a lovely girl doing similar. So we decided it might be nice to spend the night in a supposedly rat infested hide doing our best to spot big cats in relative safety.
And on our way to the hide we decided to crawl past through a cave full of bats.
And having someone else there provides me with an excellent perspective of just how damn big some of the trees get here.
So when we got there, we weren't totally alone. And naturally, we saw absolutely jack shit. But the sounds were extraordinary, but dear reader I can't provide you with those. I also completely destroyed a pair of trousers on the way, ripping from the knee to the crotch. Just call me Roberto Carlos. There's a 50% chance that on any given day that I'll be commando, as washing machines seem to have eaten my underwear. (Un?)Fortunately for Tamsin, this was a pant wearing day
So what other delights await you in the Malaysian jungle? Well there's the worlds highest Jungle walkway. Which is nice.
And for all those James Gandolfini fans - don't mourn the loss of the show - it lives on through bizzare graffiti in rainforests.
And so it was time to depart - we hot footed it from the hide as early as poss, but took a wrong turning which meant I got there seconds before departure. But, unlike some highly strange guy I had met a couple of nights before who prided himself onhaving worn the same T-Shirt everyday for 2 weeks, I needed a shower. Those accomodating chaps waited, and off I went down the river to ...
Kuala Lumpur
Another love it or hate it city according to those who have been there. With my sunny disposition (I haven't been anywhere I didn't find something attractive about), I absolutely loved the place. Stayed a few nights with my very kind Uncle and Aunt. Nice to have some home comforts for a few days.
The 3 high things are the signature marks of modern Kuala Lumpur. Shame Taiwan, and soon Dubai will have kicked the living shit out of sub 500m buildings. So passe.
But they sure are pretty.
Although I spent For the 1st night in Kuala Lumpur though I stayed in a hostel - and I'm damn glad I did, otherwise I'd never have seen this unbelievable article in Zoo. Have a gander at the comparison chart for Kylie and Olivier....you may need to open the "large size".
There are some fabulous paintings inside batu caves. Well worth a look.
Singapore
My preconceptions of an Asian Jetson's set were quite wrong.
I had a shocking case of food poisoning so didn't feel like doing much. Hung around with a Chinese American girl who wanted to spend the day trying to take the same photo of the city as in the Lonely Planet - these travellers know how to live it up! Should have gone to watch the MotoGP practice sesh in KL.
Very pretty city by night.
And you've got some strangely explicit hostel rules - "You think it's joke? Some american girls did this - on my floor. But I have camera!"
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